Posted:
# Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering.
# There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
# A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!
# A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
# A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he wants. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item she does not want!
# When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
# Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
# Married man live longer than a single man, but married man are lot more willing to die!
# If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
# A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
# Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.
# When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
# Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
# What is the difference between a marriage and a war?
A marriage is a war in which the enemies can sleep together!
# I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
# Bad Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....."
# To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
# A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
# We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
# Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.
# Why is Hillary upset?
Because she may have been the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST!
# There are two times a man does'nt understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage!
# A successful husband is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man!
# A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife!
# A man will pay $2.00 for a $1.00 item he wants. A woman will pay $1.00 for a $2.00 item she does not want!
# When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
# Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
# Married man live longer than a single man, but married man are lot more willing to die!
# If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
# A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
# Any married man should forget his mistakes because there is no use in remembering two people the same thing.
# When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
# Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.
# What is the difference between a marriage and a war?
A marriage is a war in which the enemies can sleep together!
# I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?"
# Bad Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings look too much like miniature handcuffs....."
# To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
# A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he does'nt. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
# We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
# Men wake up as good looking as they went to bed. Women somewhat deteriorate during the night.
# Why is Hillary upset?
Because she may have been the FIRST LADY, but she won't be the LAST!
comment:
p_commentcount